Lost at sea.

This feels kind of like walking into a meeting you've been skipping for the last couple months. Everyone lifts up their head to look as you come through the door. And then they go back to shuffling their papers, ignoring your casual sheepish wave.

Hey guys.

For months I've been ruminating about how to write here now that I am not freelance. How do non-freelance people blog?! Comment some examples. I don't want this to be a place where I talk about my job because I spend most of my waking hours doing and thinking about my job. I really want my blog to be a separate entity but I'm beginning to wonder if it can be. My job is a huge part of my life now. And I feel like if I ban myself from talking about it... well, what else will I have to say here?

You read it all the time on blogs (oh bloggers and their crises) but I'm gonna say it too. My life is not that eventful. Frankly I'm happy to keep it that way at the moment. Is this what it is like to get older? A month from tomorrow I will be turning 24 (very, very not best pleased about this). Making me that much further away from being able to unabashedly sing Taylor's 22.

Whenever the weekend rolls around and I have a reprise from the office, I find myself missing posting photos and scraps of thoughts here. But I can't think of things to say that isn't 'I'm tired' or 'Look, I'm adulting' or 'I should be reading right now' or 'Why can't I keep my flat tidy'. Also, I have to say, I quite enjoy doing absolutely nothing. Sue me.

So, of the little that has been going on, here is a life update:

 TONY SOPRANO. 
A couple weeks back Ross finally got me to cave and watch the first episode of The Sopranos, and of course I got full-blown addicted. We're on season four now. And we're those horrifically hip people that don't have a television. Nope, we have a projector. I had Emily, Sanne, and Lex over to watch 10 Things I Hate About You. It was great. Rosi, we miss you.

 USED OR SELLER REFURB, PLEASE. 
Other ways I now occupy my time is by browsing for secondhand furniture on Gumtree and eBay. We've scored some pretty sweet finds, the most recent being this IKEA sofa in mint condition from a bloke who was moving to New York the next day.

Tiny tangent time: I think the other reason I feel quite lost at the blogging (and YouTube) game stems from not really enjoying makeup and fashion like I used to. I go through swings of not trusting brands. I can get overwhelmed by not wanting to buy items whose suppliers could sell tested-on ingredients or supporting companies that have sustainable fabrics but maybe haven't paid their workers well. The lack of transparency probably upsets me more than it should. Nevertheless it leaves me at a standstill. Of not wanting to buy anything (and feeling guilty when I do). I've created some kind of self-imposed rule that blogging has to be buybuybuy and newnewnew. Maybe this is a wake up call for me to focus on what I have already.

 SNAP HAPPY. 
Have to admit my reluctancy about sharing how obsessed I currently am with Snapchat. Keeping my follower count low means I've been able to gloat about ex-lovers looking at two seconds of rats I am babysitting and other mundanities. On a semi-related note, I'm not ready for a pet.

 WEEKEND MARKETS. 
These are my life blood lately. Sourdough bloomers. Tamales for breakfast. Handcrafted ice cream sandwiches. Junk shops and scotch eggs. I have two markets in easy walking distance of my flat and making that a routine of my Saturdays and Sundays is a good way of getting in some much needed vitamin D (#homebody) and a reminder that hey, you live in a world-class city. Get out there wit yo bad self.

Anyway. How are you doing? Are you still reading blogs and watching YouTube? I know I'm not the only person who's found that getting a job has taken over their life and are struggling to find a semblance of balance. If you've written about this, leave a link. And if you've experienced this and have tips, please for the love of god share them.

Until my next crisis,
Marion